Pour hot water over the rice noodles and soak for 8 minutes. Drain and set aside. They should be slightly firm at this point, not fully soft. They finish cooking in the pan.
Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the ground beef and cook for 6 to 8 minutes, breaking it up as you go but not constantly stirring. Let it sit long enough to get some browning on it. Gray beef is flat beef. Drain the grease.
Add all sauce ingredients directly to the beef in the pan. Stir to combine and let simmer for 1 to 2 minutes until slightly reduced and glossy. Don't rush this step.
Add the coleslaw mix and toss to combine. Cook for 2 to 3 minutes max. You want it slightly wilted but still with some crunch and color.
Add the drained noodles. Toss everything together with tongs and cook for 1 to 2 minutes only. Any longer and the noodles go soft and absorb all the sauce.
Turn the heat off. Drizzle with a little extra sesame oil and toss once. Top with green onions, sesame seeds, and chili crisp. Serve immediately.